The Undercover Introvert

You are here: Home / Writing / Freelancing / From Delusion to Compliance: a Writer’s Five Steps

From Delusion to Compliance: a Writer’s Five Steps

by 208 Comments

Writing for a living is interesting. And by interesting I mean a maddening roller coaster of self doubt and overconfidence. It’s incredibly difficult to keep on task when you work for yourself, because there is no framework. You’re literally making things up for a living, including your own schedule. In an attempt to describe just how much of a struggle it is to squeeze anything meaningful out of a workday that starts when we say it does and ends the same way, I’ve identified five distinct steps that writers pass through during their hours spent tied to their computers.

Step One: Delusion

This stage is probably the most creative, as well as the most ambitious. While here, your goals for the day are lofty as fuck. You are going to write 15,000 words, outline a new novel idea, finish a short story, edit a few chapters of a first draft, and write a blog post or two. This furious planning starts around the time the alarm goes off at 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning. Your mind is a fertile treasure trove teaming with possibility that is yours for the taking if only you will get your lazy ass out of bed and get started. But, you don’t.

Step Two: Apathy

Creativity is a sword that cuts both ways, and this is the point in the day in which you use that sword to inflict the most damage to yourself, because if a way exists to derail your forward progress, you will either find or create it. Despite planting your ass in front of your computer by seven a.m., you’re unable to get to work. Well, you don’t have your coffee yet, and by the sounds of things, it’s just about finished brewing. Go get yourself a cup. While you’re out there, take a peek in the fridge. It’s too early to eat, isn’t it? Yeah, probably. You notice the time on the microwave. Oh, shit. Have you really been standing in the kitchen for nearly ten minutes? You book it back to your desk. By now, someone else is awake and messaging you. You message back. Check Twitter. Check Facebook again. It’s been quite some time since you posted to Instagram. Better get on that. Another friend messaging. And another. You haven’t even looked at the dozens of emails that have crash landed into your inbox. You start through those, looking for correspondence from clients first (I mean, you are working, supposedly), and then branching out to other messages. You fall into a rabbit hole. You resurface for more coffee. Then a snack. Bathroom break. Your dogs bark and you spend several minutes petting them. Before you know it, the afternoon is creeping closer and you’ve written fuck all. Shit. You have something to do that evening. You need to get it together. Stat. No more fucking around.

Step Three: Haggling

At this phase in the day, you’re beginning to acutely feel the passage of every solitary second. You do quick calculations in your head, comparing the time you still have left to write versus the time you’ve already wasted. Cursing yourself, you fire off a number of firm directives. 1,000 words before you can even think about taking a bathroom break, despite the fact that you’re 5 minutes away from an embarrassing accident (you are home alone, however, and your dogs don’t judge). 2,000 words before you get another snack or check social media. 8,000 words before you can leave your desk. You are painfully aware that you are to blame for this mess, but still see a way to meet a few of those lofty goals from early that morning. Definitely not all of them–that ship has long since sailed while you stood watching it instead of writing–but enough. You knuckle down in the limited hours you have left. You consider canceling whatever you have going on that evening, but it’s impossible. The only option is to complete your work. It’s fine. You can do this.

Step Four: Wretchedness

You can’t do this. No one can write 8,000 words in four hours. What were you thinking? Why didn’t you get up at 4:30 when the alarm went off? Why did you go to the kitchen ten times? Was that 20 minute long back and forth on Twitter really necessary? You are always doing this, and if you keep on the same way, you’ll never make your deadline and you won’t get paid. In case you haven’t realized, you need money to live. Thus begins your decline into the depths of despair at your own inability to muscle through your lifelong penchant for procrastination. You know how you are and you haven’t done anything to change it. Maybe you can’t. Maybe this freelancing thing just isn’t for you. But the thought of returning to a regular eight to five makes your skin crawl and your stomach drop. Still, instead of doing this, your time might be better served sprucing up your resume…

Step Five: Compliance

You are a world class procrastinator whose mind runs a hundred miles an hour. Okay. That’s nothing new. And since you know how you are, let’s just get this work done, shall we? We’ve had our pity party, and now it’s nose to the grindstone. You have bills to pay, after all. Somehow, this tough talk works. You crank up the music, you put your hands on the home row keys, and you get cooking. Before you know it, you reach the goal, and then you pass it. You don’t get close to the herculean itinerary your sleep starved brain cobbled together that morning as you lay in your bed maniacally planning a future that was never to be, but you rally and end the day somewhat successfully. You also kick off the delusion stage of the next working day a bit early, promising that tomorrow things will be even better because you won’t let yourself get off track in the first place. You will avoid this entire mess and break the five step cycle!

And, like the sucker you are, you believe it.

Image Source

Comments

  1. I am glad for writing to make you know what a incredible encounter my friend’s girl gained studying your web page. She learned plenty of pieces, which include what it’s like to possess an awesome helping mood to let other folks smoothly know just exactly several multifaceted subject matter. You truly exceeded our own expectations. Thank you for offering these necessary, safe, explanatory and even fun tips about this topic to Julie.

    Reply

  2. Thanks for your tips. One thing we have noticed is always that banks and also financial institutions have in mind the spending behavior of consumers and also understand that a lot of people max away their own credit cards around the holiday seasons. They prudently take advantage of this kind of fact and begin flooding the inbox and also snail-mail box together with hundreds of Zero APR card offers immediately after the holiday season finishes. Knowing that in case you are like 98% of all American open public, you’ll hop at the opportunity to consolidate personal credit card debt and move balances for 0 interest rates credit cards. fffeegk https://thyroidmedi.com – best thyroid medication

    Reply

  15. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time
    a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service?

    Cheers! asmr 0mniartist

    Reply

  21. Unquestionably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the web
    the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you,
    I definitely get irked while people consider worries that they just
    do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out
    the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal.
    Will likely be back to get more. Thanks 0mniartist asmr

    Reply

  36. Hey, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues.

    When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer,
    it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you
    a quick heads up! Other then that, wonderful blog!

    Reply

  37. After going over a few of the articles on your web site, I
    really like your way of blogging. I book marked it to my bookmark site
    list and will be checking back soon. Please visit my web site as well and
    let me know how you feel.

    Reply

  40. Its like you read my mind! You seem to understand a
    lot approximately this, such as you wrote the ebook in it or something.

    I believe that you just can do with some percent
    to force the message home a little bit, but other than that, that is wonderful
    blog. A great read. I will definitely be back.

    Reply

  50. Hey! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers?
    I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on.
    Any tips?

    Reply

  52. Appreciating the dedication you put into your website and in depth information you provide.
    It’s great to come across a blog every once in a while
    that isn’t the same out of date rehashed information. Wonderful read!

    I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

    Reply

  55. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire
    someone to do it for you? Plz reply as I’m looking to design my own blog
    and would like to know where u got this from. kudos

    Reply

  57. whoah this blog is great i like reading your articles.

    Stay up the great work! You recognize, lots of individuals are looking round for this info, you could aid them
    greatly.

    Reply

  63. I’d like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this site.
    I’m hoping to check out the same high-grade blog
    posts from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative
    writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own blog now ;
    )

    Reply

  80. scoliosis
    This design is steller! You obviously know how to keep a reader amused.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start
    my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job. I really loved what you had to
    say, and more than that, how you presented it.

    Too cool! scoliosis

    Reply

  83. scoliosis
    You actually make it seem so easy together with your presentation however I to find this topic to
    be really one thing that I believe I would never understand.
    It kind of feels too complicated and very large for me. I am looking ahead
    in your next publish, I’ll attempt to get the grasp of it!
    scoliosis

    Reply

  88. scoliosis
    What’s up Dear, are you genuinely visiting this web page on a regular basis, if so then you will without doubt get pleasant knowledge.

    scoliosis

    Reply

  109. I’m not sure where you’re getting your info, but great topic.
    I needs to spend some time learning much more or
    understanding more. Thanks for excellent information I was looking
    for this info for my mission.

    Reply

  115. You really make it seem really easy together with your presentation but I to find this topic to be actually one thing that
    I believe I might never understand. It kind of feels too complex and very large for me.

    I’m taking a look ahead on your subsequent post,
    I will attempt to get the grasp of it!

    Reply

  116. Wow, fantastic blog format! How long have you been blogging for?

    you make running a blog look easy. The total glance of your
    site is excellent, let alone the content material!

    Reply

  119. Hey there! Quick question that’s totally off topic. Do you know how
    to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when viewing from my iphone 4.
    I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to resolve
    this issue. If you have any recommendations, please share.
    With thanks!

    Reply

  153. I?¦m no longer positive where you’re getting your information, however great topic. I must spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thank you for fantastic information I used to be looking for this info for my mission.

    Reply

  162. Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful
    & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you
    helped me.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *