What comes to mind when you hear the word consent? A man and a woman on the precipice of having sex? Him asking, are you okay with this? and her saying yes? Or maybe not really saying yes, but meaning yes? Because, in this culture, the lack of a definitive no is considered a yes. Hell, sometimes a no that isn’t forceful enough is considered a yes. The ever shifting guidelines are murky at best.
The problem with the concept of consent is that we don’t teach the full range of what the word actually means, only the most extreme example, and in a way that skews the reality of real world examples. We should rewind, talk about the basics, and drill them into kids the moment they start to understand the meaning behind words and how those meanings apply to everyday life.
Let’s start with a basic definition. Dictionary.com defines consent as: permission, approval, or agreement; compliance; acquiescence.
Simple, right?
Then, why the fuss over the concept? Why the perpetual confusion over what does and doesn’t indicate consent?
Well, by narrowing our collective focus to sex acts that occur between willing partners, or aggressors and victims, we fail to teach children the depth of meaning contained within the word. Because consent isn’t just about sex. It’s about leaving people the fuck alone if they want to be left alone. It’s about respecting a person’s autonomy over their own time, body, and choices.
These kinds of lessons should start early if we want them to stick. When Grandma comes over and wants to give little Susie a hug, allow little Susie the freedom to decide whether or not she actually wants to be hugged. Forcing kids into situations in which they are touched without their enthusiastic consent only lays the groundwork for future breaches of their bodily autonomy. Though girls are often treated as society’s mobile petting zoos (the amount of times I’m touched, uninvited, in a day is staggering, and pregnant women are like community property), this lesson is just as important for boys to learn. No one should be subject to unwanted touching, nor should they touch others without an unequivocal invitation.
But it goes beyond just touching. Kids should know that they don’t have to give of their time and energy unless they choose to do so. What does that mean? So glad you asked.
In public, men will often start talking to me as though they have a right to my thoughts and feelings, asking personal questions and invading my physical space as they wait for answers. These inquiries fall well outside the realm of friendly small talk. What the hell kind of nerve must you possess to demand another person smile? Or ask that other person why she doesn’t seem happier? Why she’s so dressed up? Where she’s going? Etcetera.
Think of how quickly society would change if we taught little girls that their time was a valuable possession they could spend or keep to themselves as they liked. Think of how the world might shift if we taught little boys that they had no inherent claim on a girl’s time simply on the basis of their biological sex. If we taught kids that they controlled how their bodies moved through the world, as well as the conditions in which others could touch their bodies. If we bred respect instead of constrictive gender roles that nourish toxic masculinity and the heightened sense of alarm that is so closely intertwined with what it means to be female in America.
I’ve had my time stolen, wrenched from my hands when all I wanted to do was venture out in public, safely ensconced within my own head, pondering any number of things. I’ve been touched by men without my consent, shrugging out from under the unwanted weight of muscular arms, or stepping back to stay safely out of hands’ reach, lest my proximity indicate tacit agreement to being touched again. And again.
And some of those overly demanding men — complete strangers — haven’t taken too kindly to my refusal to answer their rapid fire questions, to give freely of my time and attention. Some have seemed annoyed by my obvious discomfort at their unwanted physical contact. I’ve watched for those men as I moved through whatever public space I was inhabiting, trying to avoid another encounter. As I walked out to the parking lot, keys fitted between my tense knuckles, I fully expected them to spring from behind a car, grimly determined to seize what had earlier eluded them. I wondered what might happen when, one day, my no, my complete lack of consent to give of my time and access to my person, would not be accepted.
What then?
So, I like to imagine instead a world where little boys learn to keep their goddamned hands to themselves. To mind their own business. A world in which girls are empowered by the knowledge that they own their bodies, their time, their rich inner lives, and they don’t owe anyone access. Because when half of the population is vulnerable and at risk, mostly from the other half of that same population, it infects everything, and no one is healthy. We can be islands unto ourselves if we like. Or we can consent to allow a ship to dock at our rocky shores. The choice should be ours alone.
My spouse and i got quite happy that John could deal with his preliminary research through the ideas he grabbed out of your web page. It’s not at all simplistic to just continually be giving out methods that many others have been selling. And we also fully understand we have got the website owner to be grateful to for that. The main explanations you have made, the simple site menu, the friendships you can help foster – it’s got many impressive, and it’s really helping our son and the family imagine that the matter is excellent, and that is pretty indispensable. Thank you for everything!
I’m commenting to let you be aware of of the beneficial discovery my child developed browsing the blog. She came to find a good number of details, including how it is like to have a great coaching character to get certain people completely comprehend a number of complex issues. You actually did more than her desires. I appreciate you for coming up with such effective, dependable, edifying and cool guidance on that topic to Emily.
http://ponlinecialisk.com/ – can i buy cialis without a prescription
order viagra online viagra from india
best over the counter viagra
order ed pills ed pills without a doctor prescription
cheap ed pills from india
ed pills without a doctor prescription ed pills without a doctor prescription
drugs online
how to treat ed cheap ed pills
buy ed pills
order cefixime online: order cleocin
roxithromycin for sale
india pharmacy drugs: generic pills india overseas pharmacies shipping to usa
indian online pharmacies review: reputable online pharmacies in india prescriptions from india
http://fcialisj.com/ – buying cheap cialis online
india pharmacies shipping to usa: buy prescriptions from india pharmacy order prescription drugs from india
kamagra pills: https://edpillsonline24.com/# erectile pills canada
buy erectile dysfunction pills online: https://edpillsonline24.com/# erectile pills canada
cialis pills online: https://edpillsonline24.com/# top erectile dysfunction pills
When someone writes an article he/she maintains the thought of a user in his/her brain that how a user can know it.
Thus that’s why this post is great. Thanks! asmr 0mniartist
how to get viagra without a doctor: non prescription viagra buying viagra online without prescription
Great post. asmr 0mniartist
After exploring a number of the blog posts
on your website, I seriously like your way of blogging.
I saved as a favorite it to my bookmark website list and will be
checking back in the near future. Please check out my web site
as well and let me know what you think. 0mniartist asmr
doxy: doxycycline hyc 100mg – cheap doxycycline online
Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed
the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off
topic but I had to tell someone! 0mniartist asmr
amoxicillin 500 mg: amoxicillin 50 mg tablets – amoxicillin discount coupon
Hі tһere, afer reading this amazing parаgraph i
am also happy to share my famiⅼiarity hre wjth colleagues.
Aⅼsoo visit my blog – payday loаns dallas (http://paydayloanusaone.com/)
over 50 dating singles
local milfs
diflucan.com: buy fluconazole – diflucan 150 mg price uk
Good post. I’m dealing with a few of these issues as well..
0mniartist asmr
diflucan 200mg tab: diflucan without a doctor prescription – diflucan cream over the counter
https://paxilst.com/# paxil cr generic
generic ventolin: albuterol without dr prescription usa – ventolin online no prescription
order generic valtrex online
can i buy ventolin over the counter australia: buy asthma inhalers without an rx – ventolin price us
valtrex online
ventolin 70: ventolin for sale online – ventolin medicine
valtrex 500 mg uk price
propecia no prescription: buy propecia – propecia 5mg sale
otc valtrex for sale
valtrex cost generic: buy valtrex – valtrex price without insurance
valtrex no prescription price
medicine for impotence: erectile dysfunction pills – non prescription erection pills
best erectile dysfunction pills
ed pills for sale: ed pills – non prescription ed drugs
best erection pills
Hi my friend! I want to say that this article is awesome,
nice written and come with almost all important infos.
I’d like to see extra posts like this .
I am really loving the theme/design of your site.
Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility problems?
A number of my blog audience have complained
about my website not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox.
Do you have any ideas to help fix this issue?
I think this is among the most important information for me.
And i am glad reading your article. But want to remark on some general things, The web site style is
wonderful, the articles is really great : D. Good job, cheers
Everything is very open with a really clear clarification of
the challenges. It was truly informative. Your site is very useful.
Thanks for sharing!
canada drugs online reviews – my canadian pharmacy cheap canadian pharmacy or canadian pharmacy coupon
pharmacy home delivery – discount pharmacy canadian online pharmacy cialis or canadian pharmacy cialis
tinder sign up , tinder date
tinder dating app
I am regular visitor, how are you everybody? This paragraph posted
at this website is in fact fastidious.
buy cheap cialis overnight ed drugs – canadian pharmacy cialis 20mg
cialis without presciption in usa
Howdy would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using?
I’m looking to start my own blog in the near future
but I’m having a hard time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and
I’m looking for something completely unique.
P.S Sorry for getting off-topic but I had to ask!
buy cialis very cheap prices fast delivery erectile dysfunction pills – buy cialis 36 hour
buy cialis now
Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after reading through some of the post I realized it’s new to me.
Anyways, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!
Hi there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group?
There’s a lot of folks that I think would really enjoy your content.
Please let me know. Thank you
I like the valuable information you provide
in your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here regularly.
I’m quite certain I’ll learn many new stuff right here! Best of luck
for the next!
tider , browse tinder for free
tider
how does viagra work buy viagra professional – buy viagra pills
buy viagra online without a prescription
viagra generic viagra without a doctor prescription – ed pills that work better than viagra
viagra without prescription
buying cheap cialis online
tinder login, tinder website
http://tinderentrar.com/
cialis without prescriptions canada generic cialis 20 mg tadalafil – how to get ciails without a doctor
buy cialis doctor
safe buy cialis buy cialis online cheap – find cheap cialis online
fastest delivery of generic cialis
scoliosis
Saved as a favorite, I really like your site! scoliosis
cialis online without prescription order original cialis online – buy cialis canadian
can i buy cialis in uk
scoliosis
This article is actually a fastidious one it helps new web users,
who are wishing in favor of blogging. scoliosis
cialis online without prescription buy cialis shipping canada – can i buy cialis in toronto
cost of cialis without insurance
lovoo auf der suche nach ausschalten lovoo chat löschen sieht der
andere das http://lovooeinloggen.com/
lovoo auf der suche nach ausschalten lovoo chat löschen sieht der andere das http://lovooeinloggen.com/
prices for lisinopril: cheap lisinopril – lisinopril price comparison
scoliosis
Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in truth used
to be a amusement account it. Glance complex to more introduced agreeable from you!
By the way, how can we be in contact? scoliosis
ivermectin 3mg tablets: stromectol for sale – ivermectin 3mg pill
free dating sites
I wanted to thank you for this excellent read!! I certainly loved every little bit of it.
I have you book-marked to look at new stuff you post…
free dating sites
best free dating simulation games
free dating websites no sign up http://freedatingfreetst.com/
dc comic adult dating sim
dating an adult female virgin http://freeadultdatingusus.com/
buy cialis in miami – ordering cialis online australia
buy cialis philippines
great issues altogether, you just received a new reader. What may you
suggest about your post that you made some days in the past?
Any sure?
buy cialis in miami – cialis for daily use
buy cialis united kingdom
viagra generic 100 mg viagra lowest price – viagra 100mg
I was very happy to uncover this site. I need to to thank you for ones time due to this fantastic read!!
I definitely liked every little bit of it and i
also have you book-marked to check out new stuff in your blog.
canadian viagra buy viagra professional – viagra for sale
What’s up to every one, the contents present at this website are actually remarkable for people knowledge, well, keep up the good work fellows.
buy cialis shipping canada – buy cialis drug buy cialis cheap canada
buy cialis ebay buy cheap cialis overnight – buy cialis online viagra
buy cialis online at lowest price generic cialis daily pricing – how to buy cialis online from canada
Hello, i believe that i saw you visited my blog thus i came to go back the choose?.I am trying to find things to enhance my website!I assume its ok to use some of your
concepts!!
tadalafil 50mg https://tadalisxs.com/ tadalafil 20mg india
Hey there! I know this is sort of off-topic however I had to ask.
Does operating a well-established blog like yours take a lot of work?
I’m brand new to blogging but I do write in my diary everyday.
I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my experience and feelings online.
Please let me know if you have any kind of recommendations or tips for new aspiring
bloggers. Thankyou!
Hi there terrific website! Does running a blog like
this take a lot of work? I have absolutely no expertise in computer programming but I had been hoping to start my own blog soon.
Anyways, should you have any recommendations or techniques for new blog owners please share.
I know this is off topic nevertheless I just had to ask.
Thanks a lot!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your efforts and I am waiting for your next post thanks
once again.
We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community.
Your website provided us with valuable information to
work on. You’ve done a formidable job and our entire community will
be grateful to you.
My developer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP.
I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses.
But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on several
websites for about a year and am nervous about switching to another platform.
I have heard great things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress
content into it? Any kind of help would be really appreciated!
Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo
News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
Appreciate it
cialis online
ed medication online cheap erectile dysfunction pill – ed meds online without doctor prescription
buy real cialis online
zyrtec 90 purchase zyrtec – zyrtec gel caps coupon
online pharmacy pain relief canada drugs online – canadian pharmacy cialis
canada rx pharmacy online pharmacy no prescription – rx pharmacy online 24
viagra without a doctor prescription walmart ed pills online pharmacy male dysfunction
online ed drugs erectile dysfunction pills medication for ed dysfunction
where to buy viagra: cheap viagra online price of viagra
generic viagra walmart: over the counter viagra viagra discount
buy cialis online canadian pharmacy
aralen where to buy cheap chloroquine – order aralen online
can i purchase amoxicillin online amoxicillin 500 mg without a prescription – can i buy amoxicillin over the counter in australia
Magnificent web site. A lot of helpful information here.
I am sending it to a few pals ans also sharing in delicious.
And certainly, thank you on your sweat!
generic doxycycline buy doxycycline online without prescription – doxycycline 200 mg
amoxicillin 500 tablet amoxicillin generic – amoxicillin without a doctors prescription
buying viagra online – online doctor prescription for viagra where to buy viagra online
п»їviagra pills – viagra without a doctor prescription where to buy viagra
ed meds online without doctor prescription canadian pharmacy online – prices pharmacy
over the counter ed treatment buy prescription drugs without doctor – buying from canadian pharmacies
hydroxychloroquine 100 mg tablet hydroxychloroquine 200 mg tablet – plaquenil for rheumatoid arthritis
brand cialis online
lisinopril 250mg cheap lisinopril – lisinopril in india
http://stromectolfst.com/# ivermectin 1 cream 45gm
cost of ivermectin lotion ivermectin for humans for sale – ivermectin oral solution
fast ed meds online: erection pills viagra online vacuum therapy for ed
I think the admin of this web page is genuinely working hard for
his web page, as here every material is quality based stuff.
best price for generic viagra on the internet: ed clinic viagra without a doctor prescription walmart
100mg viagra viagra without a doctor prescription – cheap viagra online
online kamagra mumbai
how much is viagra where to buy viagra online – viagra from canada
п»їhow much does cialis cost with insurance buy cialis cheap canada – where can u buy cialis
cheap generic cialis how to buy cialis online from canada – buy cialis online at lowest price
buy cialis online prescription
stromectol prices stromectol – ivermectin cream cost
ivermectin 6 mg tablets stromectol – buy ivermectin canada
Right now it sounds like Expression Engine is the best blogging platform available right now.
(from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?
cipro pharmacy cipro 500mg best prices – buy cipro cheap
order cialis 20 online how to avoid cialis side effects\ CialisCND20Mg – cialis shop in australia
brand name cialis how much is cialis – cialis on sale
original cialis com cialis at a discount – cialis no prescription arizona
single chatting free
britney smith girly dating slideshow
lisinopril and cialis find cialis online – cialis south africa
buy viagra south africa online health and care online viagra – viagra profesionals
otc viagra alternative buy online viagra in melbourne australia qdwylel – viagra in peru
order viagra online without script cialis viagra australia lridiiy – pills like viagra
dr viagra buy viagra usa how much does viagra cost per pill elopnch – 92126 viagra
am i dating a gay man
gay cock mature dating
gay dating facebook
If some one wants expert view on the topic of running
a blog after that i suggest him/her to pay a quick visit this webpage, Keep up the good job.
viagra for young men buy viagra in south africa ViagraCND100Mg – how much for viagra without insurance
prednisone 20mg prescription cost prednisone pills 10 mg – buy prednisone online from canada
cialis generic cost
amoxicillin 500 cheap amoxicillin – buy cheap amoxicillin
Heya are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the
blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any html coding knowledge to make your own blog?
Any help would be really appreciated!
doxycycline vibramycin doxycycline for sale – doxycycline pills
zithromax 500 tablet generic zithromax – zithromax for sale us
gay young guys dating site
gay dating wealthy guys
gay dating cites
can you buy prednisone over the counter uk buy prednisone – where to buy prednisone 20mg
zithromax 500 zithromax for sale – where can i get zithromax over the counter
Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that
it is really informative. I’m gonna watch
out for brussels. I’ll be grateful if you continue
this in future. Lots of people will be benefited from your writing.
Cheers!
free dating gay site
gay men adult online dating
gay dating articles
cost of ivermectin lotion ivermectin pills for humans – stromectol 3 mg price
ivermectin 2% ivermectin pills for humans – ivermectin 250ml
male gay dating
“best gay dating site”
my partner gay dating
viagra vs cialis bodybuilding prescription drugs online without – causes of ed
buy prescription drugs without doctor buy prescription drugs without doctor – psychological ed treatment
п»їlexapro buy lexapro – where to buy generic lexapro
lexapro 5 mg tablet price Escitalopram – lexapro online no prescription
ivermectin 3 mg ivermectin – ivermectin price comparison
plaquenil eye buy plaquenil – plaquenil 200 mg
cheap erectile dysfunction pills online buy cheap prescription drugs online – ed doctor
ed treatment options ed meds pills drugs – buy anti biotics without prescription
buy real viagra online sildenafil – when will viagra be generic
best erectile dysfunction pills buy prescription drugs from canada – viagra without doctor prescription
cialis shop cialis pills – generic cialis soft tabs
Receta Finasteride Comprar Propecia