I was recently asked to sit on a panel by a local group that was hosting a discussion about what it’s like to be black in America. Mostly older white folks would be in attendance, and I was invited to be as real as possible in my comments. If you’ve read any of my other articles, you know that level of honestly isn’t hard for me to achieve, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t lighten my part of the discussion with humor, as I am wont to do, because of how receptive it makes people to what I’m saying. I wanted to deliver gut punches that left the audience gasping. I wanted to bring them low, where I sometimes find myself. And I really wanted this mostly white audience to understand that being black in America means understanding and accepting a myriad of things:
This country is not for you.
Living in America is a lot like inexplicably finding yourself in someone else’s house. You understand that this isn’t your house, so you’d better be on your best behavior or you might be forcibly ejected. You have to explain why you deserve to be in the house in the first place, and you don’t dare make the owners of the house feel uncomfortable, no matter how they act towards you.
2. You are routinely treated as though black folks are a monolith, meaning that when one POC does something, it’s treated as though it’s representative of the entire group.
White folks will use the preference or statement of one POC as evidence against you when you call them out on their racism. For example:
You: what you just said was really racist.
White person: but I say that around my black friend and he doesn’t have a problem with it.
This never works in the opposite direction.
You: do you want some of this dish I made?
White person: No, thanks. I don’t like eggplant.
You: what? My other white friend loves eggplant. I don’t understand why you don’t…?
This shitty phenomena is a prime example of othering. Because this is the white folks’ house and they make the rules, they get to be individuals, with their own hopes, fears, strengths, and weaknesses. But one bad apple will ruin the entire orchard where POCs are concerned. And you will be held personally accountable for anything terrible that another black person does.
3. You will face constant microaggressions.
There will be so many examples of the hostile and casually racist microaggression in your day to day life, but here are just a few of the most common:
-You will be ‘othered’. Since America isn’t your house, you will be treated like a suspicious outsider who must be watched, questioned, and disbelieved.
-You will walk into a store and not be noticed by employees who will then run to assist a white customer who comes in after you. Or, worse, you will be followed, treated with open suspicion, told to buy something immediately or get out while white customers are left to browse in peace.
-White people will be surprised to find out that you have a college degree and that it’s not in African Studies.
-White people will assume you have many kids, all from different partners.
-You will receive backhanded compliments such as:
You’re pretty for a black girl!
Wow, you are so articulate!
You don’t even act black!
-Upon first meeting, before even asking your name, a white person will demand to know: What are you?
4. You will be expected to drop everything to educate white folks no matter the time, place, or what you are doing.
Google exists for a reason and there are thousands of articles, books, and blog posts on the subject of how to identify and work through implicit racial bias. But instead of using any of these free resources, white people will expect you to take on the burden and heavy emotional labor of instructing them on how to best go about bettering themselves.
5. White folks will feel the need to share with you every racist interaction they encounter throughout their day when you are literally just trying to get through your own life.
They will lose their minds over every social media post, every news story about an unarmed black man getting shot by a police officer, every racially charged comment overheard in the store. And they will bring all of this to you, laying it onto your already heavy shoulders.
This kind of fanatical outrage is especially troubling because it places the white person at the center of a discussion about blatant racism, leaving the POC in the position of comforting that person. You know racism exists from daily experience, and it’s exhausting to get all of this secondhand racism on top of the firsthand racism you are already dealing with. This exhaustion is compounded by the soothing of the white person that you will have to undertake just to extricate yourself from a conversation that you didn’t want to have in the first place.
6. You will be perpetually asked to rubber stamp a white person’s questionable conduct as not racist. Usually, this conduct actually is racist, but that isn’t what you are there to say. You are there to comfort the white person and provide them with assurances that they are not being racist. This evidence will likely be used in the future against another black person who later calls out this white person on some racist conduct. Because all POC are the same, remember?
7. You become used to hard facts at an early age, such as:
-Your skin color is a liability that leads to and justifies poor and unfair treatment.
-In a dispute, especially if it involves law enforcement, your word will never be accepted over that of a white person’s.
-The cardinal sin is making a white person feel uncomfortable. Your job as a POC is to soothe white people and never allow them to feel guilty, even when they are the perpetrators of gross indignities. Remember: this isn’t your house.
-You will be told to be grateful for what you have, as though you haven’t earned it with your own merit. You are lucky to even be here. Never forget that.
-You will be made to explain to your children why their skin color puts them at a disadvantage, and you will need to deal with the inevitable aftermath of the first time your child is called the N word. And it will happen before they reach double digits.
8. Being black in America means understanding your place in this country for what it truly is. It means being uncomfortable in a house that doesn’t belong to you, but finding a way to live your life anyway. It means fighting for meaningful change but not expecting it any time soon, though you keep pushing. It means not giving up.
cheap viagra online viagra cost per pill
where to buy viagra
buy ed pills from canada cheap ed pills usa
cheap ed pills
buy ed pills from canada best erectile dysfunction pills
buy ed pills from canada
cheap ed pills from canada cheap ed pills
ed pills without a doctor prescription
buy cipro online: buy panmycin online
ceftin tablets
all generic meds from india: reputable online pharmacies in india best online international pharmacies india
generic pills india: ordering medicine from india india pharmacies shipping to usa
india pharmacy mail order: india pharmacy mail order overseas pharmacies shipping to usa
best erectile dysfunction pills: https://edpillsonline24.com/# top erectile dysfunction pills
cialis ed pills: https://edpillsonline24.com/# ed pills
over the counter ed medication: https://edpillsonline24.com/# erectile pills canada
viagra for sale: viagra prescription viagra prescription
no prescription viagra: viagra without prescription viagra online no prescription
order amoxicillin 500mg: cheap amoxicillin – amoxicillin 200 mg tablet
candida diflucan: diflucan – diflucan tablet 500mg
alwayѕ i ueed to read smaller ⅽontent which also clear
their motіve, andd that is also happpening with tһiѕ post wһich I am reading at this time.
My web blog – payday loans california
Prettʏ! Тhis was ɑn іncredibly wonderful post.
Many thanks for prociding these Ԁetailѕ.
Also visit myy homepagе – online payday loans canada
diflucan tablets price: diflucan canada – buy diflucan
doxycycline hydrochloride 100mg: doxycycline without a prescription – doxycycline generic
http://metforminst.com/# where can you buy metformin
propecia generic: buy finasteride – finasteride medication
tadalafil india pharmacy
ventolin 100 mcg: buy ventolin – ventolin buy online
buy tadalafil
ventolin 90 mcg: buy ventolin – buy ventolin canada
tadalafil online
can you buy ventolin over the counter in australia: albuterol without dr prescription usa – ventolin australia
tadalafil india pharmacy
cialis pills: tadalafil 20mg best price – generic tadalafil
tadalafil 20mg for sale
ventolin pharmacy uk: ventolin over the counter – can i buy ventolin over the counter in australia
tadalafil
tadalafil 20mg for sale: tadalafil without a doctor’s prescription – order tadalafil
tadalafil 20mg for sale
ed drugs ed drugs – ed pills gnc
herbal ed treatment
ed drugs erectile dysfunction pills – herbal ed treatment
online ed medications
online pharmacy search erectile dysfunction medications – maple leaf pharmacy in canada
pharmacy online track order
peoples pharmacy ed drugs – rx pharmacy online
canadian pharmacy online cialis
canada cialis online: ed pills – cialis 5mg tablet
cheap generic cialis: ed drugs – cheap generic cialis
Hi to every body, it’s my first pay a visit of this weblog; this web site includes remarkable and genuinely fine stuff in favor of readers.
cheap cialis online pharmacy[/url]
buy viagra online viagra for women – viagra without a doctor prescription
buy viagra professional viagra prices – viagra professional
natural viagra viagra without a doctor prescription usa – viagra without a doctor prescription
where can i buy cialis without a prescription: cialis online daily safe buy cialis
much does cialis cost without insurance
how to buy cialis online uk: buy cialis 36 hour online safe buy cialis
п»їhow much does cialis cost with insurance
cost of tadalafil without insurance: cialis tadalafil portugal buy cialis shipping canada
buy cialis tadalafil tablets
generic cialis daily pricing: fastest delivery of generic cialis how to buy cialis online uk
buy cialis insurancecialis online without prescription
buy cialis online at lowest price: buy cialis insurance where can i buy cialis without a prescription
buy cialis cheap canada
lovoo nachrichten löschen lovoo icebreaker sprüche http://lovooeinloggen.com/
lisinopril tablets for sale: lisinopril – lisinopril generic drug
doxycycline: cheap doxycycline – doxycycline 100mg capsules
doxycycline 100mg price: doxycycline for sale – doxycycline tetracycline
where can u buy cialis: buy cialis cheap canada buy cialis doctor
how to buy cialis online uk: cialis soft tablet can i buy cialis in toronto
buy cialis rush: can i buy cialis in toronto buy cialis toronto
buy cialis insurancecialis online without prescription: cialis original for sale buy cialis very cheap prices fast delivery
viagra coupon viagra without doctor prescription – cheap viagra
tadalafil canadian pharmacy: prices pharmacy – pharmacy orlando
buy cialis shipping canada – how to buy cialis online from canada buy cialis now
rx pharmacy: us online pharmacy – online pharmacy non prescription drugs
buy cialis very cheap prices fast delivery: cialis original for sale cialis 5mg tablet
fastest delivery of generic cialis: buy cialis 36 hour cheap generic cialis
ordering cialis online australia: buy cialis online viagra cialis without presciption in usa
order amoxicillin uk amoxil – amoxicillin from canada
amoxicillin 200 mg tablet amoxicillin no prescription – amoxicillin in india
order wellbutrin online from canada wellbutrin – wellbutrin xl
cost of wellbutrin cheap wellbutrin – generic wellbutrin price
treatment for ed ed pills for sale – cheap erectile dysfunction pills
buy erection pills ed pills for sale – best male enhancement pills
buy zithromax without presc flagyl antibiotic – buy zithromax without presc
allegra 300 mg allegra medication – zyrtec 20 mg tablets
natural treatment for ed cheap pills online ed drugs
ed drugs online ed pills comfortis for dogs without vet prescription
purchase antabuse canada no prescripton[/url]
where can i buy furosemide in the uk[/url]
viagra amazon buy generic 100mg viagra online best place to buy generic viagra online
buy viagra online canada best place to buy viagra online viagra without a doctor prescription usa
aralen medication chloroquine tablet price – buy aralen
neurontin prescription cost neurontin generic – medication neurontin 300 mg
generic doxycycline doxycycline hyc 100mg – generic for doxycycline
Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a 25 foot drop,
just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has
83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I
had to share it with someone!
chloroquine tablets buy chloroquine tablet price – where to buy chloroquine
chloroquine phosphate aralen buy chloroquine phosphate – chloroquine india
order viagra online: buy generic 100mg viagra online – buy real viagra online
muse ed drug reliable canadian online pharmacy – canada rx pharmacy world
drug medication buy generic ed pills online – worldwide pharmacy online
Hello very cool web site!! Man .. Beautiful .. Superb ..
I’ll bookmark your website and take the feeds also?
I am satisfied to seek out numerous useful information here within the publish, we’d like develop more techniques on this regard, thanks for sharing.
. . . . .
hydroxychloroquine 90 mg hydroxychloroquine – hydroxychloroquine antiviral
zestril over the counter cheap lisinopril – drug lisinopril 5 mg
http://ivermectinstr.com/# ivermectin purchase
buy prescription drugs from india: canadian medications – errectile dysfunction
ed for men: erectile dysfunction medicines – ed medications
viagra discount viagra without a doctor prescription – viagra cost
how to buy cialis online from canada buy cheap cialis overnight – cialis 20 mg cost
ivermectin buy australia stromectol – ivermectin 8000
hydroxychloroquine 500 mg plaquenil for sale canada – plaquenil cost australia
Hola! I’ve been following your website for some time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Dallas Texas!
Just wanted to mention keep up the excellent job!
ciprofloxacin 500mg buy online ciprofloxacin 500 mg tablet price – buy ciprofloxacin over the counter
brand cialis for sale cialis edmonton – how can i get cialis fast
milfs dating.com
[url=”http://onlinedatingtwo.com/?”]cupid.com dating site[/url]
plenty of fish dating site of free dating
[url=”http://datingonlinecome.com/?”]cara delevingne dating history[/url]
ebay cialis cialis 20mg mailorder abilene kxqlsck – where to buy cialis
buying viagra online using pay pal buy viagra without perscription odcmofv – non prescription viagra alternative
fast shipping on viagra au how long does viagra last? ViagraCND100Mg – buy viagra soft tabs
how to get viagra in the us discount viagra online with cheap shipping yzbjwok – viagra with penis pump
cost of viagra without insurance buy viagra in south africa online – viagra cheap fast shipping
about me for a gay dating site
gay males dating gay females
[url=”http://gaychatus.com?”]gay dating melbourne[/url]
gay dating sydney
very gay dating
[url=”http://gaydatingzz.com?”]gay dating sites malaysia[/url]
is sildenafil as good as viagra? viagra in sacramento ca – how to puchase viagra in canada
planetromeo gay dating site
gay couples dating
[url=”http://freegaychatnew.com?”]gay dating abu dhabi[/url]
gay dating websites pakistan
free gay bear dating
[url=”http://gaydatingzz.com?”]gay dating near stanton ne[/url]
doxy order doxycycline – where to purchase doxycycline
gay dating in denver
gratis gay dating in nederland
[url=”http://gaychatrooms.org?”]dating gay sex game simluuator[/url]
ivermectin price ivermectin 12 mg tablets for sale – stromectol covid 19
grizzly gay bears dating
lgbt gay dating sites
[url=”http://gaychatgay.com?”]gay dating in michigan[/url]
gay bodybuilder dating site
best gay black dating sites
[url=”http://gaydatingzz.com?”]gay dating grindr[/url]
plaquenil over the counter plaquenil – hydroxychloroquine sulfate
Do you have any video of that? I’d love to find out more details.
generic clomid clomid for sale – clomid tablet
when will viagra be generic best place to buy generic viagra online – viagra over the counter walmart