The Undercover Introvert

You are here: Home / Activism / Feminism / One ‘Year of the Woman’ is Not Enough

One ‘Year of the Woman’ is Not Enough

by 175 Comments

2018 was called the Year of the Woman. The first election cycle to take place fully ensconced within the #MeToo era came to a close with a historic number of women running for office and winning. Many of these newly minted legislators were women of color, and the doors they flung open simply by their mere presence at the table reverberated through the nation’s marginalized communities. As a black woman, I felt the power of it. Representation matters, and I saw more faces that looked like mine in a crowd of lawmakers than I’d ever seen in my life.

More of us are at the table. That means we made it, right?

Well, not quite.

We still have a long way to go before we reach the fabled promised land of racial and gender equality. Last year was yet another baby step in a seemingly endless line of baby steps. Slow and steady wins the race. We step forward twice, get pushed back once, maybe even twice, ad infinitum. Meanwhile, the road ahead of us goes on past the horizon, the goal completely out of sight. No one quite knows the distance between where we stand and where we want to be, but moving forward is the only option, because we know exactly what dangerous territory lies behind us.

Thanks to the many hundreds of thousands of women who came before me, being a woman in 2019 is better, but it’s still not easy.

I may no longer pass from the dominion of my father to that of my spouse, but I’m not paid the same as a white man for identical work.

Birth control and access to safe, legal abortion may give me the kind of control over my reproductive system that women living decades ago could only dream of, but the war on women waged by old white men rages on and, if successful, would leave me with few options that didn’t include being either celibate or perpetually barefoot and pregnant.

I may be able to go wherever I want, whenever I want, without asking any man’s permission, but I’m not safe walking alone after dark, being too friendly to a male stranger, being too dismissive of a male stranger, or leaving my drink unattended at a party for fear of what might happen.

I may be able to set my sights on any job that strikes my fancy, but I can’t be taken seriously in most professional spaces, and I often have to push back extremely hard on men who believe, simply by the grace of their gender, that they are more learned than I am, no matter the subject or situation. When confronted on their mansplaining, most men seem taken aback, because they don’t even notice themselves doing it. Yet it happens ALL. THE. TIME.

And those are just a small sampling of the many complications of being a woman in this country.

When you add being black on top of that, all of the aforementioned difficulties magnify, and the discrimination becomes labyrinthine in its complexity.

After an incident, I often find myself wondering: was this because I’m black? Or because I’m a woman? Or both?

But there are no clear answers, only the dark, ugly feeling of being targeted, humiliated, overlooked, or attacked.

Discrimination exists as a claustrophobic maze for those of us that call more than one marginalized group home, and the uncertainty inherent in its twists and turns often makes it impossible to find our footing. You flounder, you double back, you forge ahead, hoping for something better around the next corner. An exit, though you don’t ever expect to find one.

I live in a country that once owned people who looked like me, and also a country in which people of my gender we never expected to contribute to society in any meaningful way. Women were to bear children and look pretty. Black women were to bear children and toil until they died. And though we’re no longer seen as property or lesser than men in the eyes of the law, we’re still nurtured by a society that views us as fundamentally weaker than men, both mentally and physically. Our bodies are still the subject of a dogged legislative agenda that won’t stop until it completely strips away control over our own reproductive destiny. Our bodies are still seen as existing almost exclusively for male enjoyment.

It would never occur to me to tell a man minding his own business in a public space that he should smile, that he’s good looking, or that I’d be interested in dating and/or sleeping with him. These are all things I’ve heard from complete strangers, and not just once. Not even just a dozen times.

It would also never occur to me to interrupt a man who was a subject matter expert because I assumed I knew more than he did, though I was not a subject matter expert, nor was I invited to speak on the topic. Yet this is also something that happens to women with annoying regularity. Even when we are speaking about our unique experiences as women in the world, men will often dive headfirst into the fray to talk over us, muscling their way into a conversation that shouldn’t even feature them.

Again, these are just small things, but if you add enough of them together, they become weights heavy enough to hamper our upward mobility and obliterate our spirits.

So, yes, let’s celebrate 2018 as the Year of the Woman. But let’s not forget that there have been thousands of years celebrating men, their achievements, and their exclusive centuries’ old dominion over the world and all the women in it.

We women can’t be content with a single year that only sees our total representation in Congress reach 25% while we make up more than 50% of the population. We have to keep pushing until the many layers of glass ceilings shatter, and we can breathe the fresh air and feel the full strength of the sun on our faces.

The thought of a world in which the full range of possibility and promise isn’t limited on the basis of sex, race, disability, who you love, or how you self identify is what keeps me going every day, despite the constant backsliding, the defeats, the frustrations, and the heartache.

As always, women of color, disabled women, women identifying as LGBTQ have a harder path, one we’ve often had to walk alone as our more privileged sisters moved quickly along the path ahead of us, leaving us behind. But none of us will truly be free until we all are, meaning we’ll have to wait for that last woman to make her way across the finish line before we can consider the battle won.

Image Source

Comments

  1. Thanks for the tips on credit repair on all of this blog. What I would advice people is to give up the mentality that they can buy now and pay later. As a society we tend to do this for many things. This includes vacations, furniture, and items we want. However, you need to separate your wants from all the needs. While you are working to improve your credit score you have to make some sacrifices. For example you can shop online to save money or you can go to second hand stores instead of expensive department stores for clothing.

    Reply

  2. Thanks for the advice on credit repair on this excellent site. Some tips i would tell people should be to give up this mentality that they may buy currently and fork out later. Being a society many of us tend to make this happen for many issues. This includes vacation trips, furniture, along with items we’d like. However, you’ll want to separate your current wants out of the needs. If you are working to boost your credit score actually you need some trade-offs. For example you’ll be able to shop online to save cash or you can look at second hand merchants instead of high-priced department stores pertaining to clothing.

    Reply

  30. Howdy just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your content seem to
    be running off the screen in Firefox. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but I figured
    I’d post to let you know. The layout look great though!

    Hope you get the problem fixed soon. Thanks asmr
    0mniartist

    Reply

  32. Hey! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site?
    I’m getting fed up of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform.
    I would be awesome if you could point me in the
    direction of a good platform. 0mniartist asmr

    Reply

  46. My partner and I stumbled over here coming from a
    different web address and thought I might as well check
    things out. I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to exploring your web page repeatedly.

    Reply

  47. Great goods from you, man. I have be mindful your stuff previous
    to and you’re simply extremely fantastic. I really like what you have acquired here, really like what you are saying and the way in which wherein you say it.
    You’re making it entertaining and you still take care
    of to keep it smart. I cant wait to read much more from you.

    That is actually a tremendous site.

    Reply

  48. Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored to death at work so
    I decided to check out your blog on my iphone during lunch break.
    I love the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I
    get home. I’m amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my phone ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, amazing site!

    Reply

  50. excellent publish, very informative. I wonder why the other specialists
    of this sector do not realize this. You should
    proceed your writing. I’m sure, you have a huge readers’ base already!

    Reply

  56. I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everybody
    else encountering problems with your site. It looks like some of the
    text within your posts are running off the screen. Can somebody else please provide feedback and
    let me know if this is happening to them as well? This could be
    a issue with my browser because I’ve had this happen before.
    Thanks

    Reply

  62. I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest
    but your blogs really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back in the future.
    All the best

    Reply

  64. Very nice post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and
    wished to mention that I’ve truly enjoyed
    surfing around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to
    your rss feed and I hope you write once more soon!

    Reply

  67. Helpful information. Fortunate me I discovered your site unintentionally,
    and I am stunned why this coincidence did not took place earlier!
    I bookmarked it.

    Reply

  78. scoliosis
    I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was
    good. I don’t know who you are but definitely you’re going
    to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!
    scoliosis

    Reply

  80. scoliosis
    Hi I am so thrilled I found your website, I really
    found you by error, while I was looking on Google for something else, Anyways I
    am here now and would just like to say kudos for a marvelous post and a all round thrilling
    blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to browse it all at the minute but I have saved it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more,
    Please do keep up the superb work. scoliosis

    Reply

  86. free dating sites
    What i do not realize is if truth be told how you are not
    actually a lot more smartly-liked than you may be right now.

    You’re so intelligent. You understand therefore
    considerably with regards to this subject, produced me in my view believe it from numerous various angles.

    Its like men and women are not involved unless it is one thing to accomplish with Woman gaga!

    Your own stuffs great. All the time take care of it up!

    free dating sites https://785days.tumblr.com/

    Reply

  94. I’m no longer sure where you’re getting your information, however
    great topic. I must spend a while finding out more or
    understanding more. Thank you for magnificent information I used to be looking for this information for my mission.

    Reply

  103. My developer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from
    PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of
    the costs. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on various
    websites for about a year and am concerned about
    switching to another platform. I have heard very good things
    about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress
    content into it? Any help would be really appreciated!

    Reply

  108. We stumbled over here coming from a different web page and thought I may as
    well check things out. I like what I see so i am
    just following you. Look forward to checking out
    your web page yet again.

    Reply

  110. Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some
    of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be bookmarking
    and checking back often!

    Reply

  139. What’s up, this weekend is nice designed for me, since this point in time i am
    reading this great informative post here at my residence.

    Reply

  140. Sweet blog! I foսnd it while surfing around on Yahoօ News.

    D᧐ you haνe any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I’ve been trying for a whilе but I ever seem to gget there!
    Thank you

    Reply

  145. Thank you for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research on this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more from this post. I’m very glad to see such wonderful information being shared freely out there.

    Reply

  170. Good day I am so glad I found your blog page, I really found you by error, while
    I was browsing on Aol for something else, Anyways I am here now and would
    just like to say thank you for a fantastic post and a
    all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to browse it all at the moment but I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I
    will be back to read a great deal more, Please
    do keep up the awesome job.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *